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Oh! To be a Condom,
Such would be the life for me!
To fit snuggly around a penis
Would be pure heaven send!
Lubrication dreams
Would keep my coat shiney,
Till the moment of Orgasm,
Filled with a residue, slimey.

Oh! To be a Condom,
Such would be the life for me!
And when my top
Entered that mystical Vaginer;
My user best not be screwing
A Bloody whiner,
Cause that bitch
Be in Hellish heat
As my master pumps her
With his meat!

Oh! To be a Condom,
Such would be the life for me!
©2003-2009 ~paddirn
:iconpaddirn:

Author's Comments

An ode to that little rubber shield, without which I would be a father many times over.

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconshuggz4eva699:
ROFLMMFAO! I wasn't looking around for some humor tonight, but damn did I find it. =) (Smile) I'm going to print this up and hand it to my bf as a friendly reminder....

--
~*Mystify people with your intelligence. However, if you can't perform this task, mystify them with your bullshit instead. You know, something you're well-versed in.*~
:iconheadspazm:
I LIKE THAT VERY MUCH
WHAT I WOULDNT GIVE TO BE A CONDOM LOL NOT FOR THE PENIS PART BUT FOR THE OTHER PART LOL
DEFINATELY A FAV

--
SOMETIMES WAR IS THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR PROGRESS TO A BETTER AND MORE PEACEFUL WORLD.... :::ME.....AND IM SURE SOMEONE ELSE TOO:::


WE MUST SUPPORT THOSE WE VOTE TO LEAD US..... AND NEVER FORGET WHERE WE CAME FROM......
:::ME AGAIN:::
:iconubetyourboots:
I was taking it all in stride...that is, until I came across:

"And when my top
Entered that mystical Vaginer;
My user best not be screwing
A Bloody whiner,
Cause that bitch
Be in Hellish heat
As my master pumps her
With his meat!"


Just...NO.

Try harder.
:iconsmashingblue:
BEST, POEM, EVER.

*faves*

This is just brilliant. XD

--
"If this world is what we make it, make it a better place" ~ Iced Earth - Consequences
:iconlady-blue:
uh. Cute. Not very original and not very well-written, but cute.

Heart Amy

--
:heart:Amy

*ArtisanCraft :bulletblue: *Crafty-Goodness

Etsy: [link]
:iconscapino:
by being a candom, you'll end up thrown in the bin :P

--
Just Goth it!
:icondeadrosesgrow:
Vaginer: well not a word but i laughed a bit but being female it was a tiny bit offensive but still funny.

--
Black rose your thorns are cutting into me
Every time I held you I knew that it would hurt
Black rose your thorns are cutting into me for the last time
:iconpaddirn:
Well I aim to offend, but if anything, take this poem as a promotion of safe sex, and who could be offended by that? the Taliban, that's who.

I don't think I could think of any other words that rhymed with 'whiner'. Yeah, my poetry is quite atrocious, which is probably why I gave up writing any other poetry a long time ago. I'm even surprised people still come across my stuff, I posted that thing like 4 years ago!

--
paddirn (pad' ern) n. 1.a. A model or an original used as an archetype. b. A person or thing considered worthy of imitation. 2. A plan, diagram, or model to be followed in making things. 3. A representative sample; specimen or ideal.
:icondeadrosesgrow:
hahaha yea i was on a search for funny condom pictures.but hey if poetry dosnt offend someone i say its poorly written.

--
Black rose your thorns are cutting into me
Every time I held you I knew that it would hurt
Black rose your thorns are cutting into me for the last time

Details

March 23, 2003

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